Mangekyou no Namida

I am having dreams lately that affect my mood. Bored.

I am dying from endless workload. Bored.

I am witnessing yet another break up. Bored.

I am living each day as it passes. Bored.

I am looking that examination dates staring me in the eye. Bored.

I am gaining interests in Journals and Business academic reports. Bored.

Nerdification will soon be a complete process in me. BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bye. *waves like a geek*

No offence to the majority... but I really can't stand those crapsticks.

Was talking to an old friend at Canteen B today. Then he asked about my exams, so I told him I will end my exams in 3 days. He gave me the stun look. Then I said, "It's 4 papers in three days." Then he went, "Orh..." He probably thought I am in Business, therefore it's slack. But at least he realised it's not as easy. AT LEAST MY FRIEND HAD BRAINS...

Unlike his friend who came along later. He brought my friend's bag along and joined us. At that point of time we were talking about my friend's hallite who did not went home for more than a month, as he was rushing his FYP in school. Immediately the newcomer guy (Mr. Crapstick) went, "Aiyah, their projects are more time consuming kind, but ours more siong, need to analyze this and that."

-.-''' CAN'T FUCKING STAND IT. I just smiled.

1) I can't fucking see his point. Can Mr Crapstick tell me how do you write a 20 page essay on China's fixed exchange rate without analyzing the economic conditions, political factors,etc etc? In all due respect, I do agree you need an analysis of your data of your experiments to make a good lab report. But by making such a comment, I really doubt your ability to ANALYZE. CRAP.
2) SOME people (I do mean some) LOVE to go on blabbering about how heavy their workload is. How many subjects they have to take. SHUDDAP LA. If it's so siong, why choose the course in the first place? If you can't take the hardship, finish the compulsory secondary school education and go beg or something. But I do understand that a certain degree of grumbling is necessary to relieve some stress. So I don't really mind hearing these from friends. Cause we are always there for each other. But I really hate it when people undermine other's work. It's not even on a comparable basis in the first place. Try comparing an apple and an telephone. Mass? Size? Shape? wadeva. Ya lor, we are slack lor... so be JEALOUS... be DAMN DAMN JEALOUS k? Too bad lor.

3) Oh ya.. You are ALL SOOOOO SUPERIOR TOO~ *bows*

PUI! Crapsticks. I am not refering to my friends when I say this. Coz I LOVE my friends, and they definately DO NOT have the myopic, naive brain of that bugger. SORRY FRIENDS IF YOU FEEL OFFENDED. STUPID BUGGER...

李杜诗篇众口传，
到人已决不新鲜；
江山代有才人出，
各领风骚五十年。

Just like the impossible trinity theory taken from economics, I realised life has its own impossible trinity, restricted by time. Work, Play or Sleep. You can only choose 2 and HAVE to forgo the third because it's IMPOSSIBLE to have 3. Unless you have like 48hours. Given any day, I would choose work and play I guess. Sleeping is a pure waste of time, except that I need my beauty sleep from time to time to replenish my skin cells. Hahaha.

Got home at 730am this morning. Madness. I really love staying out late on my Saturday nights, with my group of friends. Drinking, dancing and bullcrapping away. It's really a great form of stress relief for me from my week of nonsense. A good way to relieve myself from all the unhappiness from DCF models, economic theories, SPSS outputs, etc etc.

I am confused. Very confused. Not that I am depressed. Just confused. Not a good feeling at all. I am procrastinating because I am confused. The workload will bury me six feet under very soon. Maybe seven? eight? I don't know. I need a solace.

Wad a nice name. For such a dumb program.

Phase 3 companies are SHIT! It's like asking a banking and finance student to do accounting for a provisional shop or a kopi tiam. Who would choose such companies?! Those left with no choice.
STUPID enough to put such choices for us in Phase 2, KNOWING that such STUPID companies will eventually go to phase 3.

Going to IRAS. And to think I hate working in government agencies. Anyway, whatever. It's the call center anyway. "Hi, May I help you?"

-.-''' VERY professional indeed.

And I think the pay will be VERY low. This sucks. Only good thing about it is that... it's one stop from my house.

I doubt I will even be required to wear PROfessionally... I think after a few days we will be in tshirt and jeans.

PROFESSIONAL ATTACHMENT... tsk tsk...

I am DEPRESSED! I cut my hair!!! ARGH! SHORTER AND SHORTER.... Haiz... soon i will be bald... DEPREsSED... I don't have nice skin... else I wun be so depressed...

I will be gone for a month. No time to blog. Nothing interesting in particular to blog anyway. Books, school, blah blah blah wake up, eat, blah blah. What's so interesting in putting an entry on my daily routine right? So ya, I'll be gone. Don't miss me dear bloggy~ I'll be back after exams. I see great future! Hahaha.

I love my life!

Don't worry bloggy~ If anything interesting POPS up, I will definately tell you first hand! Heh. Love ya~ my best friend.

Is there anyone on this world who loves you alot? Who loves you unconditionally? Who forgives your every mistake and flaw? Who loves every single bit of your soul, body and heart? Who thinks of you day in day out? Who cares about you more than they care for themselves?

Have you found such a person?

I am willing to die for her. I love her. I feel loved. Very very much loved. I am but a blessed kid. I love my grandma.

.L.O.V.E.

Had lunch with her today. Held her hands the whole journey. I could feel her trust in me. I could feel the love we have. After I sent her home, I went to develop some photos. Of which is the one I took with her. Bought a frame, put it in and gave it to her as her belated birthday present. My heart melted when I saw her smile. Popo.... You're the cutest gift I ever had.

I am feeling very down these days. I don't know whatever the reasons I'm feeling down for. I get these sudden shocks of momentary fear. It's like one moment you're standing on the MRT, waiting to alight at the next stop; the very next moment, the whole of your body is swept by this surge of fear passing through. It's like a tsunami wave surging into a peaceful seaside village, engulfing the whole of me in seconds. The fear, the helplessness..... The emptiness. It doesn't allow any lag time for any form of defense mechanism to react.

I could clearly feel its presence. I know what it is. I definately know. It's death. I recognise that fear. I believe I do, at the very least. Thoughts will race my mind as the fear tries to suck my emotions into this emotional black hole it created in my heart. My favourite defensive move would be to ignore such thoughts or emotions, knowing that it will eventually pass. I can't. Don't ask me why I can't. Can you stand outside your doorstep of your fishing hut, and ignore the tsunami wave as it arrives? Don't be dumb. Of course it will pass. Hell yeah it will pass ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING BODY.

Haiz. That's what I'm feeling. Defenseless against this barrage of emotions....

I wanna leave this place. I wanna leave leave leave!!!! I wanna leave myself.

Bored.

Chains.....Chains.... Chain-ED

一个人喝醉好想找个人来陪
我们之间有太多的误会
爱不能再沉睡
是可悲是摧毁
我不要再为谁掉眼泪
爱过才后悔想要用酒来麻醉
我们之间有太多的误会
爱不能再沉睡
是可悲是摧毁
我不要再为谁而心碎
求求你给我个机会
不要再对爱说无所谓
如果相爱是眼泪
就让我们用真心去面对
求求你给我个机会
不要再对爱说无所谓
留下了太多伤悲
告诉我你到底爱着谁

The rule of the animals: Survival of the fittest. Void of emotions on one hand, on the other, detection of emotions is more often than not essential in this world of complex homosepians.

I live by this rule of survival. It governs the reality of life. If one is weak, let one be. Soon they will grow strong or be eliminated. If one is strong, kill it and bring it down.

Governments should stop protectionism. Okie I am crapping about the government part. Haha. It's obvious without intervention, it would have taken probably 10000 years for the economy to rectify its own issues.

Parents and friends should stop protectionism. If you love them, let them go. If they are strong, they will return. =]

冷风吹心里空虚
车飞向远方
在无力伤心的人是谁
人渐累情也渐累
停住了的心偏却是醉
咀边湿透是泪
没有勇气说再会又伴随
推不开心中的罪
留住你我放弃了负累
再拚命追
渡过的从前今天过去
明了原来曾令你真的太心碎
明白到心死不可再追
喔...喔...
面对当年情真心说句
祈求完全原谅我当初的不对
在你离开的一刻说出
情深的一句
唯一的一句

ANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!