Mangekyou no Namida

Dear I love you loads. Dun doubt me k? Let us overcome everything. =]

it's not that i dun wanna come and update my blog, nor that i wanna go missing from msn. it's juz that i love her alot!!!!!! and i wanna give her any free possible time i can. like hfmd is a disease... i think i am falling prey to an addiction called twf. =] losing money on the mj table is like no feeling cause i was like so happy with her.

it juz gets more n more each day.

Never before I used the floor like a bed. Never before so huggy huggy. I will be busy WAHAHA sorry. The blog will be empty. I suppose. Blessed is the soul whose feeling cold. Spring has come after winter. What's mine will be kept mine and only mine. Okie. Back to my report for PA. Thanks blog for all these while. I will tell you more soon enough.

I supposed I AM on the top of the blacklist now. I missed the bus and that's it. Then when the next bus came at 825 I knew I was done for. I didn't board the bus! Instead I turn back to ask daddy to fetch me there hoping it will be faster. -.-''' I need to learn to ride soon. Cars sucks, esp when you're late. What happened was a long jam of car queue on every fucking lanes to work. Madness. Made me more late than ever. Screwed. Either I need to learn to ride soon or learn to fly soon.

Yeah I WAS busy. Attachment doesn't really seem like an attachment to me. Everyone of them are slogging their asses out over serious or non-serious WORK. But me? I have been attending lectures after lectures, listening non-stop, trying to absorb whatever I can with my 99.99% closed eyes.

Fucking boring.

The chair seemed to have a switch now.

When my ass is on it, it automatically generates a hypnotic magnetic wave to send through my ass and puts me into a stupor. It also seems another micro-wave into me to make me wanna pee with intense urgency.

God save me from this week of torture. I can't take lectures no more. It's as though I'm taking an special semester module of basic individual tax system.

It's good though to know that the peeps(supervisors) at IRAS are pretty much very friendly and perhaps approachable, though blessed with much hypnotic voices during lectures. Typical case of too much to listen, too small a brain. Hohoho~ But I guess I can very much expect to get the help I need should I have doubts on issues. HOWEVER, I can be extremely sure that in an event of carelessness, I will have my backside buttered and even toasted. So, I shall put a check on myself to be on full red alert when handling cases. =] Hope so.

The fellow NTU-ers are a great bunch I gotta say. Everyone so chatty and smiley, add in the friends I know before going there, Phew, I gotta say I am lucky not to be lonely. I am lucky to have a bunch of people to lunch with. (Poor Winnie ate alone.) But lunch seems a little too short though. It barely enough for lunch, with ten minutes to spare for a refresher.

Anyway, I think I have been a nuisance these 3 days. Noisily coughing and blowing my nose away, walking out to pee ever so frequently(I bet that if there is a league table for peeing trips, I will be a runaway train at the top like Chelsea in mid-season). Well I am sorry, I can't help myself. Sickness ain't what I asked for. And a high turnover rate of water for my body has been with me since god knows when. But I really really should stop sleeping in class.

Bought a polo tee for work yesterday. OVERSPENT! Screwed. Minus $85 from my pay and I have $16 a day for everything else. Cheapest labor you can get I guess. $3.30/hr (Rounded UP!)

Anyway, you peeps working in better places that give you real work, I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU! I really feel like I am back in army. Oh ya, I am going to work in jeans peeps. JEANS~ =]

I'm in a cabin of a sinking ship. I watching the water level rising slowly, bit by bit, engulfing everything. I can no longer see my legs. I know that there're rescue planes hovering above. I know the stairway's cleared for escape. But somehow I ain't making any slightest effort to reach the deck. Somehow my feet stays rooted to the ground. For the sole purpose of boarding this ship, is to reach my final destination in the first place.

Everyone loves money, don't they? I do I do! How far would you go for money?

Given a poor guy and a rich guy, ceteris paribus, which would you choose? Yeah yeah... i noe u rebels would probably tell me dat the poor guy would probably be 1) easier to control, 2) less likely to engage in infidelities. DUN BULL LA! Lol. You wanna live in attap house or a mansion? You wanna eat leftover fries from Mac or a juicy piece of steak?

Everyone loves beautiful things, don't they? I do I do.

Beautiful girls, beautiful cars, beautiful cities, even cute guys. So do looks get you further in life? Rhetorical question it is. Given a fat ugly bastard, don't tell me you'd go, I don't go for looks. Character matters the most. Hahaha greatest liar of all times. A lousy one at that. Close eyes and cover ears also will know that bugger's lying.

Anyway, combine both and you get the ultimate foundation in life. Shit man. Reality sucks. Please throw me back in my dream where I can swim in a pool of gold coins and go QUACK QUACK!

Wad do u live for?
For money? One day you might earn so much that you have too much.
For love and relationships? It's gonna end one day anyway.
For power? I have no desire for great power.
To die? Then for what we live in the first place?

I am just live day in day out, day by day. I guess this is what everyone is doing?

I love living. I wanna live forever. Sadness, happiness, pain and fun. I love it all. I love it anyday over dying. Dying sucks. What's so good about and eternal dark space, where you lose consciousness and sleep forever with no dreams.

Life's so shallow. It's because it is so short that makes it so beautiful and worth fighting for, to see how far you can go in this short space of time. Yet it's so dumb to be fighting for everything to know that in the very end you will lose it anyway.

I wanna be rich. On the other hand, I know I wouldn't bring it with me. But I'd be leaving them for my loved ones I guess. I wanna be loved. She, me and everyone else are gonna die anyway. Oh well, at least I can go telling myself I WAS ONCE loved. Lol. (Yesterday an acquaintance was just telling me that a guy who died in his 30s was very successful in life, that he had 200 odd peeps sending him off on his last day of his funeral.) I started thinking about how many will I get. But of course I don't wanna die at 30 la!

I fear marriage nowadays. Not that I have a girlfriend. I just fear. Everything's so fragile. My new motto of life, "Live life day by day to your happiest. Do not commit too much of your effort, just enough for you to be happy and not get hurt."

=)