Mangekyou no Namida

I hate big mouthed act-smart advisors who act as though they have brains that make Socrates or Plato seem like they're dim wits! JUST SHUT UP LA! Think before you speak k? You don't go around acting like you are some highly respected fortune teller who can tell the future. I am angry. Really furious. If you're half as good as you proclaim you are in anticipating the future, maybe you can tell me the price movement of commodities so that I can earn more from futures! What the hell. Not only you do not make me earn more money through your stupid fortune telling, you made me lose money that could have contributed to a movie and dine date with my love.

Hai. No choice. Due to certain circumstances, I have to forgive that PERSON.

To me, I constantly seek to fill 2 holes in my heart, Emotions and Practicalities

Emotions to be filled by my darling, family and friends.
Practicalities to be filled with money and amibitions.

And I lost money due to a fortune teller.. Hai. No more k? No more false predictions of the future~~ WHEE!! I got a promise of a lifetime! NO MORE~ hahaha so happy~ it's worth it. I will be happy from now on. Okie... sleep for now... SHAGGED... I am so so blardee drained...

Hi bloggy,

I'm back. Guess it's you and me this time round again. I know I have neglected you and my friends and my family. But I can't help myself. I know alot of people out there wants a piece of me. Alot of people out there is dying to scold me. Sorry people, I can't help it. I really had the best time of my life. I really never felt so in love before that it swept me off my work, my feet, my everything.

What's more is there that I can ask for, she loves me with all her heart, she wants to fit the best to my liking, she gives me care and attention. And now I've done it. I guess it's like work and everything else, life is not about how much good you do, it's about how much bad. It's not about how much you do, it's about what you don't do. I know deep in me that promises are made to be kept, albeit always joking with friends that promises are meant to be broken. I know it so deeply that I always reminded myself not to promise anyhow. But I guessed I did. I broke my principle of life and deserved to be shot or being deemed worse than an animal. I promised her a testimonial, albeit a small thing, but I know of great significance. Not only I broke my promise, I wrote one for someone I used to like. Haiz. What a chicken asshole I am.

Blame me ba. I have only but to accept it. I have been wanting to write about us all these while, on blog, or a simple adding of a testimonial for her. I really appreciate how she blogs about me and how she adds a testimonial to me once in a while. I really loved the feeling so so much. So much so that I always open them up to read it time and again. I guess I finally know how Wang Da Dong felt in the show. I really can't pen it down. No matter how many times I set myself up in front of a computer to pen my affection for her, no matter how many times I tried, I always find it too inappropiate to fully describe my love for her. I really love her alot. So much so that I dropped some of my dreams and principles that I held dearly to. Looking back, I realised that I erased so many attempts that only the entry on our zoo trip is up. Even so, the entry seems to pale so much in comparism to our outing. It's like watching a rainbow on a black and white tv. It's like such a far cry from the memory flashback that I keep drawing out in my brain from time to time.

I admit I suck as a boyfriend. I admit I suck at memory of dates. I admit I suck cause I hurt you time and again. But my heart froze itself in 2005 only to be warmed by you. It's you that made me smile and laugh so brightly each time I see you. It's you that made me learn to cry again. I guess people will say it's not man to cry, but I don't care, cause it's because my tears are for you.

I know you want to go to Korea. I want it as well. When I told you "ok", I was already flying through the skies to reach a winter wonderland where we can tread through hand in hand, and build snowman and ride sleighs. I was immersed in happiness only to be disappointed by myself. I know I disappointed you. But the disappointment I face myself is not much less, instead of showing you how lousy a husband I am when I can't support our Korea trip, I couldn't face up to me failing you dear. So I decided to take the fault and make it seem like I don't prefer Korea.

I know I promised you a testi, I really did try that night. I really did try and try, only to delete it all. I didn't know what to write on. My life revolved around you, my whole world... It's so much that I really don't know where to start and where to end. Nothing that I wrote seemed perfect for fulfilling a promise. I guessed I did wrong again. I know that even an imperfect me would be a gift to you. But deep inside me, I can't bear to give you an "unfinished" product. I really can't bear to know I had given you a substandard gift with not much heart. I was thinking that if I can break this mindset, and just write a simple one for you just to fulfill my promise, but always at the last moment before clicking send, I'd stop. I can't. I simply just can't send in to my love something that doesn't encompass my whole heart dear.

I know I suck as a boyfriend and have hurt you countless of times. Sorry dear. I'm really sorry.

The good old days...


Message: For those who born in the 70s and 80s. Fond memories......
1. You grew up watching He-man, MASK,
Transformers, Silver Hawk and
Mickey Mouse. Not to forget, Ninja turtles, My
Little Pony and
Smurfs too.
2. You grew up brushing your teeth with a mug
in Primary school
during recess time. You will squat by a drain
with all your
classmates beside you, and brush your teeth
with a coloured mug.The
teachers
said you must brush each side 10 times too.

3. You know what SBC stands for.

4. You pay 40 cents
for Chocolate or Strawberry
MILK every week in
class.

5. You watch a very popular Malay dubbed
Japanese drama on RTM1
about schoolgirls who possess powerful skills in
volleyball called
Meoro Attack.

6. You find your friends with pagers and
handphone cool in
Secondary school.

7. SBS buses used to be non-airconditioned.
The bus seats are made
of wood and the cushion is red. The big red bell
gives a loud BEEP!
when pressed. There are colourful tickets
forTIBS buses.The
conductor
will check for tickets by using a machine which
punches a hole in
the ticket.

8. Envelopes given to us
to donate to Sharity
Elephant every
Children's Day.

9. You've probably read Young Generation
magazine.You know who's
Vinny the little vampire and Acai the constable.

10. You were there when they first introduced
MRT here. You went
for the first ride with your parents and you would
kneel on the
seat to see the scenery.

11. Movie tickets used to cost only $3.50.

12. Gals are fascinated by Strawberry Short
Cake and Barbie Dolls.

13. You learn to laugh like The Count in
Sesame Street.

14. You longed to buy tibits called Kaka (20
cents per pack), and
Ding Dang (50 cents per box), that had
a toy in
it and it changes
every week
not forgetting the 15 cents animal crackers and
the ring pop, where
the lollipop is the diamond on the ring.

15. You watched TV2 (also known as Channel
10) cartoons because
Channel 5 never had enough cartoons for you.

16. Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, The Three
Investigators, Famous Five
and Secret Seven are probably the thickest
story books you ever
thought you have read. Even Sweet Valley High
and Malory Towers.

17. KFC used to be a high class restaurant that
serve food in
plates and let you use metal forks and knives.

18. The most vulgar thing you said was asshole
and idiot
and THE
MOST EXTREME WAS 'super white'...you just
couldn't bring yourself
to say the hokkien relative.

19. Catching was the IN thing and twist as the
magic word.

20. Your English workbooks was made of some
damn poor quality paper
that was smooth and yellow.

21. CDIS were your bestfriend.

22. The only computer lessons in school
involved funny pixellised
characters in 16 colours walking about trying to
teach you maths.

23. Waterbottles were slinged around your neck
and a must
everywhere you go.

24. Boys loved to play soccer with small plastic
balls in the
basketball
court.

25. Teng-teng, five stones, chapteh, hentam
bola and zero point
were all the rage with the girls and boys too...

26. Science was fun with the balsam and the
angsana being the most
important plants of our lives, guppies and
swordtail being the most
important fish.

27. Who can forget Ahmad, Bala, Sumei and
John, eternalized in our
minds from the textbooks. Even Mr Wally & Mr.
Yakki. What abt Miss
Lala??? And Zaki and Tini in Malay Textbooks?

28. We carry out experiments of our own to get
ourself badges for
being a Young Zoologist/Botanist etc.

29. Every Children's day and National day
you
either get pins or
pens with 'Happy Children's Day 1993' or dumb
files with 'Happy
National Day 1994'.

30. In Primary six you had to play buddy for the
younger kids like
big sister and brother.

31. We wear BM2000, BATA, or Pallas shoes.

32. Your form teacher taught you Maths,
Science and English.

33. The worksheets were made of brown rough
paper of poor quality.

34. You went to school in slippers and a
raincoat when it rained,
and you find a dry spot in the school to sit
down, dry your feet,
and wear your
dry and warm socks and shoes.

35. School dismissal time was
normally around
1 pm.

36. There would be spelling tests and mental
sums to do almost
everyday.

37. Your friends considered you lucky and rich if
your parents gave
you $3 or more for pocket money everyday.

38. You see Wee Kim Wee's face in the school
hall.

39. You freak out when the teacher tells you to
line up according
to height and hold hands with the corresponding
boy or girl.

40. Boys like to catch fighting spiders.
41. Collecting and battling erasers was a
pastime for boys.
42. Autograph books were loaded with "Best
Wishes", "Forget Me
Not", and small
poems like "Bird fly high, hard
to catch.Friend
like you, hard to forget".
43. Class monitors and prefects loved to
say "You talk somemore, I
write your name ah!"
44. There were at least 40 people in one class.

45. Large, colourful schoolbags were carried.
50. You brought every single book to school,
even though there was
one thing called the timetable.

I gotta thank Vogaris for all these from a forwarded mail. Haiz.. What shit. I feel so old. I wished I could turn back time and relive these moments again.. Haiz... Good old days where fun fun fun lives everyday.